This was my goal race. I toed the line fully expecting to earn that shiny BQ. I had all of my friends, family, co-workers, coach, and even people I’m not aware of tracking me in this race. I poured my heart and soul into training, and damnit…it didn’t go my way!
Grandma’s Marathon has been my staple, yearly race since 2009, when I ran this race as my first marathon. Although my finish times are largely reflective of how much I trained (or didn’t train) each year, it is also reflective of the roller coaster-like relationship I have with this marathon. Grandma’s Marathon is where I earned my PR, but it is also where I’ve had some of my worst races. I can’t seem to find year-over-year consistency here, which is something I didn’t come to terms with until after this marathon stole my soul this time around.
I had over 700 miles of training under my belt moving into this race. This was by far my highest mileage and most successful training cycle I’ve ever had. I am working with a running coach for the first time, who really helped show me the true ropes of training. He has me running paces I didn’t know I could run, and doing workouts I really didn’t think I’d be able to complete. I really feel like I found my potential, and I was ready for this race. In fact, in our pre-race conversation, he said to me “Go get that BQ, then we can speed you up. You’re faster than you know!” I was confident, and my coach was confident in me.
I woke up on race morning to the beautiful view of the lift bridge from our hotel’s balcony. We always stay at the Inn on Lake Superior, located right at the finish line. Hotels are hard to find this weekend, as almost all racers are coming in from out-of-town, so we actually make our reservation for the next year when checking out of the current year. This hotel is expensive ($500/night), but totally worth the money given the proximity to packet pickup, the buses, finish line, and the beer tents. My husband and I always share the room with one or two other couples, making it a little more affordable. The rooms get tight with six people, but totally doable and actually part of the fun of the weekend!
The forecast for this day called for cold rain. When my alarm went off at 4:20am and I looked outside, it was clear that the forecast was flat-out wrong! It was about 60 degrees and humid, with clear skies.
I went to the buses with a good friend that was also running the marathon. The bus ride to the start is always a mixed bag of anxiety and excitement. I should mention that my husband and I were using this race to determine the timing of our next baby. If I qualified, we would not start trying until after Boston 2017. If I didn’t qualify, we would start trying right away. I specifically remember joking to my friend that if I don’t qualify for Boston, I might just name the baby “First name: Boston, middle name: Fail”. In hindsight, I think I put a little too much pressure on myself at this marathon!
When we started the race it was already 70 degrees and humid. Given how hot the spring was, I really wasn’t worried about the heat taking me down. I did many long runs in the extreme heat, I was well hydrated and really just trying to stay positive. The first 13 miles flew by with splits of 8:20 (fist mile is always bottlenecked), 7:53, 8:02, 7:51, 7:47, 7:58, 7:57, 8:03, 8:10, 8:13, 7:52, 8:07, 8:12. I wasn’t letting my brain get too far ahead of myself, but I was also starting to get excited, as I was feeling great. Until I wasn’t. I crossed the 13 mile marker and told my friend to go ahead of me, as I was going to get sick. I’ve never felt such a sudden, overwhelming feeling of nausea on a run before. I pulled over and took a few breaths, then walked to the halfway marker. This was the beginning of the end for me. As I was walking across the tracking mat, I miraculously saw an Oiselle teammate, who in the midst of listening to me ugly crying, said to me, “Just walk to mile 16 and reassess how you feel. Don’t give up now. And regardless of what happens, everyone will be so proud of you!” These are the words that kept me from walking to the quitter’s bus. I am so thankful, as I would have regretted giving up so much!
Of course I didn’t walk to mile 16, but I did slow down tremendously and I threw my A goal out the window. I was now going for a PR, so anything under 3:50. I got to mile 16 with splits of 8:49, 9:16 and 8:55. Had I been able to keep an average of 9:00/mi for the last 10 miles, I would have earned a huge PR. However, that is when I saw my first black flag, which explained everything about how I was feeling. Everyone on the course around me seemed equally as miserable, which made me feel a little less sorry for myself (misery loves company, right?), but that didn’t stop me from spending the last 10 miles fighting back tears.
At mile 16 I knew I wasn’t quitting, so I took my teammate’s advice and let myself just walk a few miles. I ran the first .25 of each mile, then walked until I hit the next mile marker. I have NEVER walked like this in a race before, so to have it happen in the marathon that I was the most prepared for just killed me. I spent the next four miles averaging about 11:30 minute miles.
Miles 20-26.2 are by far the best miles of Grandma’s Marathon. Once you enter Duluth, you are welcomed with streets lined with spectators, college kids handing out beer, the packed bars of Superior Street, then you enter Canal Park where you can hear the finish line. I was able to pull myself together enough to run/walk my way to an average of 9:30/mile for the last 10k, bringing me to the finish line at 4:01:14. That was not my A goal, nor my B or C goal (under 4:00). But, I put the race in the books, and I showed myself how tough I really am.
Now that I’ve had a few days to reflect, here are my closing thoughts:
What went well:
- I learned that I have grit. I am stronger than I thought!
- Miles 1-13. I have a tendency to go out too fast in the first few miles, which I did not do this time. I ran a really even first half.
- I finished strong – my last 2.2 miles averaged out to be 8:30/mi. After all of that – I finished at my B goal pace.
What didn’t go well:
- I didn’t control the controllables, and let go of the uncontrollables. Seeing that black flag was a huge mental slam, and I let it get the best of me. I knew I wasn’t going to hit my A-goal much before that, but this is where my race completely went out the window. I should have honed in on what I could control: my posture, my hydration, fuel, breathing, etc.
- I ran with someone I don’t typically run with, so I wasn’t able to run “my race.” We ran the same pace, but our running style is different. I run a pretty even pace both up and down hills, whereas he ran even pace up the hill but faster down the hill, then slowed down a little bit once the road flattened out. This threw me for a loop.
- I didn’t fight through the wall. I hit a physical wall at 13 due to heat, but I was able to recover physically. What didn’t recover was my mental strength. I let that one go! Maybe I put too much pressure on myself and I just caved?
So, this race wasn’t mine from a BQ standpoint, but I do feel like I learned some important lessons that will make me a stronger runner moving forward. I’m going to take a break from Grandma’s Marathon for a few years. The race and the weather are too unpredictable to have this race be my yearly goal race. The next time I run, it will be a “for fun” marathon with no strings attached to the results.